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Sweet Home Blog

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Highlight Real?

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but we are in full Spring cleaning mode around here. January throws her stuff out every season so i’m not sure that really counts, but Beka cleaned out her closet & we’re counting that for sure. I started doing my clean out at the beginning of the year. It’s still underway, and will be well throughout Spring. Another thing Spring brought with it is pollen, and a ton of it. It’s forced me to scrub my porches and patio furniture down twice already, so I can check that off my list as well. If you haven’t gotten started on YOUR list what are you waiting on? Go read January’s blog post from last week. We could all afford to get rid of the “mental junk” we carry with us, and you can even pick up a few ideas on that household stuff you want to tackle. Her tips are really good, and I promise she won’t make you throw everything you own away. She’s the only one that does that.

Now that you have some mental clarity and a clutter free home….get ready for phase two. We’re gonna tackle your social media. Don’t stop reading yet ok?! Just hear me out! I’m gonna share my personal experience, and then leave you alone. If you are in a completely positive space then by all means carry on because you are amazing! If you aren’t…then you aren’t alone, and you need to know that.

I’ve had social media accounts forever like most everyone. Facebook and Instagram were my go to socials, and sometimes I would jump on Twitter just to browse. Several years ago I gave up Facebook for Lent. I was doing a Bible study, and I already felt like I spent way too much time on Facebook so that’s what I chose to give up. I had also begun to notice that I was worrying about other people’s problems that I’d seen on Facebook. It was similar to binge watching a TV show and being so invested that it stays heavy on your mind. I’m already a pretty huge worrier so when I started carrying around problems that weren’t mine it was an issue. Do you know after Lent was over I never went back? It was THAT freeing. Do I still have friends that send me funny or shocking posts at times? Yes. Do I sometimes ask my sister to check people’s birthdays for me? Yes to that too, but I’m not caught up in the negativity and anxiety I was feeling. Maybe this isn’t you. Maybe you really enjoy genuinely keeping up with friends or family through Facebook. I get that, and I loved that part of Facebook too! Sometimes you just have one bad apple in the batch and it ruins your whole day. Y’all the beautiful thing about Facebook is that you don’t have to “Unfriend” these people to get them out of your daily social media check in. All you have to do is hide them from your feed. If “Sally Smith” wakes up every single day and posts a status about how awful everything is it might immediately put you in a bad mood. Get “Sally” out of your feed people! If you’re consumed way beyond “Sally Smith’s” issues then maybe take a Facebook break, and see how you feel. Maybe it’s exactly the change you’ve been needing.

After I broke my Facebook habit, I decided that I would keep my Instagram account. Instagram seemed to be more of a visual space, and less angry, dramatic, argumentative, sarcastic, etc… I loved Insta. I still love Insta. I actually started a second account to share things that were a bit less personal. I’ll save the details of “why” I made that decision for a later post. Here’s the thing y’all. It’s a dangerous place too. I bet you didn’t know that at one time I had a “fitness accountability” Instagram account. It was encouraging to check in with my food & workouts, and to have a community there where we could reach our goals together. Do you know I ended up getting so discouraged that I deleted it a year later? I would see girls that were more toned than me, and I’d scroll back as far as I could to see how she had made the progress that I hadn’t. It didn’t occur to me that she was maybe 10 years younger, had never carried a child, had a personal trainer, and who knows what else. I was just punishing myself because I thought she looked better, and it hurt. Maybe she was actually working a lot harder than me. That’s the thing. We NEVER know what’s going on behind those pictures. (Can you imagine the impact this is having on teenagers?) I finally ended up deleting that account, and continued working on me. I follow a few fitness accounts that I’ve come across that feel real to me, and that I can identify with. Unrealistic {for me} things just don’t have a place in my feed anymore, and I finally made the decision to sort it out.

Now that you guys know about the secret fitness account I feel like we’re pretty close. I’m about to get very real with you. Ready? I called my sister crying a couple months ago because I felt so overwhelmed. I told her that I felt like I had all of these things in my life, and I didn’t feel like I was able to give my whole self to any of them. My family doesn’t get ALL of me, my job doesn’t get ALL of me, my housework certainly doesn’t get ALL of me, the list goes on, and I’m not even changing the world. I’m just living a normal life, and can’t keep up. I jump from one thing to another in order to get everything in, and make it to the next day. It took her, a therapist, and two of my best friends to make me believe that it’s ok to feel like that, and that it’s impossible to do it all perfectly. The stupid thing is that in my heart I know that. I know no one has the perfect life. Everyone has problems, but that day you couldn’t have talked me into believing that. I had gotten so caught up in the perfect "Mom" image on social media who owns her own business, has two perfectly dressed kids, a pristine white house that they supposedly live in, Instagram worthy pictures of dinner, a thriving blog, and time to post about it all on Insta! I’m telling ya…It’ll really make ya feel like a big ole loser, but guess what? That’s the highlight REEL, not the highlight REAL. This “Insta Girl” isn’t out to make anyone feel bad about themselves. Maybe that’s how she makes a living, maybe she just likes pretty pictures, I mean we all like pretty pictures right? “Insta Girl” also isn’t responsible for your happiness. You are. If it’s a bad day just steer clear of those types of things. If you mostly get discouraged instead of inspired maybe it’s time to do some spring cleaning. “Unfollow” those accounts that you notice have a negative impact on you.

I’m not the girl that will ever be a size XS, and I don’t have the need for cocktail dresses. Most people around here probably can’t even pronounce “Louboutin” more less recognize if I owned a piece from the collection, and I love that about this place. I wear jeans every day of the week, and use more dry shampoo than I’m willing to admit. I spend more time making my kid look cute than I spend on myself…and it’s evident. Do you know that I’ve actually found some “Insta Girls” that have a similar lifestyle? They encourage me because I feel like we’re doing this dang thang together. Sure, I still love the pretty things. I still want to be creative on my own Instagram account. I’m sure I’ll still struggle with comparing myself occasionally. I do however refuse to let social media make me feel like what I’m doing isn’t enough. The best version of me may be far from perfect, but it’s enough. I hope you know you’re enough too.

xoxo, Beth

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